Revelations

God gently called me out of bed at 6:34 am yesterday morning, beckoning me to come sit with Him.  After cleaning up a puppy accident and creating my quiet Bible Study space, I sat down to read one of my favorite morning devotions.  A few years ago I learned of Fullness in Christ Ministries.  Although I have never really taken the time to learn more about the organization their daily messages have been a source of hope and inspiration in my life.  Even during those times when I am not as close to God as I should be the words of inspiration from "What the Lord is Saying Today" have kept the connection alive.  This morning was no different.  I have spent the week in prayer and Bible Study, with the kids being on a break I have had time to linger over coffee and my Bible.  The words of Bev Robinson struck a chord in my heart and led me immediately to opening my Bible and grabbing my journal.  

The past few months have been challenging to say the least, and every time I think that things can't get any more difficult, they do.  My mind has stayed in a dark place, the running commentary not too pleasant, but I am changing that or should I say God is changing that.  That is where His word's through Bev came in.  The encouraging words in the still of the morning were of hope and joy, just the message I needed.  I spent time pouring over Psalm 34 and 37, pouring out my heart in my journal, leaving my quiet time with a sense of peace.  For the past few months, I have let fear, procrastination, stress, depression, excuses run my life.  No more!  I will live authentically!

Reality Check

I'm tired of this world.  Not in a suicidal way, in a tired of societal "norms" way.  I'm tired of materialism, of fake impressions, and unrealistic expectations.  I'm tired of having to think, act, and dress a certain way.  I truly want to shed those.

My life has taken a drastic turn from my teenage plans.  Back in the day I planned to attend college for retail merchandising, move to New York City after graduation, become a buyer for a major department store and live a life of glamor and high fashion.  Here I sit in the snowy Rocky Mountains, goats and chickens out my window, kids making breakfast, showering optional, yoga pants and a t-shirt my dress code.  I'm a long way from my New York City fashion dream.  I wouldn't change it for anything!

As I was out milking goats one morning my mind wandered to how happy I am with the simple, farm life.  Not to say farming is simple, but the peace I feel being out in nature, breathing clean mountain air is.  The goats seem to appreciate breakfast, I can tell that the chickens enjoy fresh bedding in their coop, and my livestock guard dogs love being out in the cold winter weather.  I love drinking fresh goat's milk and getting my eggs right from the source.  In the hustle and bustle of my days, the quiet of country living is a welcome release.

Skipping Records

I recently finished the book The Teenage Brain by Francis E. Jensen, recommended to me by our family practice doctor.  As a mom of 3 teens and one who will be one shortly, it was a great read.  Not only did it explain my kids' behavior, it helped me understand mine better as well.  One key concept I took away from the book has to do with neuroplasticity:  The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life.  Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment. (www.medicinenet.com)  I found this fascinating!  When I develop a habit I carve a new pathway in my brain.  It's like the needle on a record player sliding over the grooves.  The habit becomes permanently etched in my brain, but because my brain can change in response to my environment I can create a new pathway.  I can make my record skip its old groove to create a new one.  It takes time to make these new pathways in the brain, and old habits die hard.  A change in focus and constant mental reminders can put me on the right track for a positive plan to become a well-worn habit.

Winter is Coming

I have to admit I love watching the local weather.  Unless it's sunny and dry, the weather folks never seem to get it quite right for the foothills.  I live on the east side of the mountain where we seem to get more snow than everyone else around.  Yesterday, I watched the weather on several occasions and the report for early next week had my head spinning.  A storm is coming in that can potentially bring 2-24 inches of snow.  WHAT?!?!  It's too soon to get exact snow amount and all of the computer models are showing wild swings in accumulation.  I have to plan for the worst and hope for the best.  IF the foothills get two feet of snow, I need to make special accommodations for my animals.  The chickens will need to stay in their coop for a day or two, the ducks will need a more covered area, the does and doelings put in together, extra heated water bowls added and the list goes on.  I start to panic a bit just thinking about it!!  I'm prepared for winter just not 2 feet of winter.  What am I doing still sitting here, I should be out prepping, "Winter is coming."

Sweeping Things Under the Bed

My favorite little dust bunny, Fifi Jo.

I watched my youngest daughter doing just that Sunday night.  I had asked my girls to clean their room, specifically under the bed.  I'm very afraid at what might be lurking under there!  They cleaned the floor, picked up books and movies, and passed their massive amount of dirty laundry on to me.  At 8:30 that night I stopped in to say good night.  I saw my youngest sweeping all of the clutter still on the floor, under the bed.  Too tired to argue, I sighed and walked out.

Now as I sit in the quiet and stillness of the morning, it's 5:20 AM, I think about how I do this with struggles in my own life.  I sweep the things I don't want to deal with under the bed in hopes they'll just magically disappear.  Not so!  At some point, I need to overcome my procrastination and fears so I can clean out what's hidden "under my bed."

I'm going through a heart shift right now, tired of the way I have been living my life.  There is a change bubbling up.  The path will not be easy, but in the end much needed and oh so worth it!

Spinning Plates

Appearances are deceiving.  On the outside, I appear put together, in control.  Behind closed doors, I am an exhausted, frazzled, mess.  The plates I spin are crashing to the ground.  Though I may appear to be Wonder Woman, I am not.  The images you see on Facebook paint a pretty picture of life at the Ranch.  In reality, my house is a mess, my clean laundry is in baskets not in drawers, my bills are often late, and I yell A LOT.  I don't have it all together.  I procrastinate, stuff, and ignore hoping the bad will go away.  I also pray, A LOT!  That is me, in a nutshell, imperfect, flawed, wanting to live honestly.